I've heard the joke that all Asians look the same, so many times that it doesn't phase me any more. Especially living in Toronto. We're all over the place.
What is it - the dark hair? The eyes? The electronics? I would have liked to have been there, in early days of Asian immigration to America, when this joke probably started. Some guy probably sat down and dreamed up a fool-proof way of distinguishing himself from all the other Asians:
Asian 1: I need something unique.
Asian 2: Hmmm, like what?
Asian 1: What if I wore... glasses?
Asian 2: Yah, that's good!
Asian 1: Great!... hey, what are those?
Asian 2: Glasses.
Asian 1: Whoa... sorry, I thought I was looking in a mirror.
Asian 2: Who said that?
But as often as I've heard it, it's even funnier when people just happen to act that way, reinforcing the stereotype. I met this guy, Nigel, through my old roommate JV during two summer camping trips. Nigel is an interesting fellow, because for all the indistinguishable Asians in the world, he is a walking contradiction. For instance, hands up for those who might guess that Nigel is.... oh, black.
WRONG! Nigel is tall white guy, born in Cyprus, Greece. Booyah! That's right. I guess I can't blame him for smearing all Asian traits into a smooth, peanut-buttery texture, since he's such a rare breed. And a cool guy too.
I had more than a few conversations with Nigel during those trips, and you'd think that after two weekends, he'd at least partially recognise me. But after moving to Toronto, I can't count the number of times that I've recognised him, only to have him walk right by. I've even gone insofar as to casually smile and nod, with no response. We even sat in the same class of about 20 students for a whole semester without him realising!
The kinds of scenarios where we meet or could meet are becoming absurd. ak was looking through her mail, and I happened to see a piece of misdirected mail she received, with Nigel's name written on it. Apparently they live in the same building. On the same floor. Less than ten doors away. Should I confront him?
It could be that he just has bad memory. Either that or he thinks that ak and I are in fact Asian twins. Or triplets if he knew that ak lives with her brother.
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8 comments:
That's a pretty funny post, Kenny. Keep up the good work!
and what makes the whole Nigel thing even funnier is that he spent 2 years dating an asian girl, so as a white guy, he should be one of the best ones at distinguising Asian 1 from Asian 2.
But, no.
JV
...oh how tempted I am to send Nigel this URL on facebook. mouhahah
JV
@droopy: Thanks mr. agassi!
@jv: He'd probably take it out on poor Hubert ;)
Next time I see any tall white Greek-looking guy in my building, I am going to start singing into thin air ,"N..i..g..e...l...N..i..g..e..l......you ...those days are over..."
or to sing a rock version with an air guitar that goes,'pow-wow-wow...NIGEL DOESN'T KNOW!pow-wow-wow...NIGEL DOESN'T KNOW!'
Good for people to know.
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