Scammers have it tough

I received the absolute best possible news in the mail today. Apparently I, ME, MOI, won the Hispanic Lottery, a lottery that I never signed up for and never knew existed! Yes you suckers, I am now rich. All I need to do is send them my credit card and bank account info, and EUR892,000 will be deposited in my account. And I had better act fast, apparently I have until May 17th to claim my glorious prize.

I was both amused and impressed by this scam. Amused by some of things they put in the letter. Besides silly things like "keep this confidential" and "act fast!" there are also some genuinely funny moments. Apparently I have a representative, Dr. Villa Diego, who will care take of the transaction for me. DR. VILLA DIEGO! What a hilarious, Bond-villain-esque name; I bet these guys were laughing their asses off when they decided on the name. What could he possibly be a doctor of... Scrooge McDuckery? Monetary botany?

On the other hand, I was also impressed by how far they went to add validity to their scam. They included a stamp from Spain on the envelope (which of course, had no return address), and cited phone numbers in the letter. I'm somewhat curious to actually call them just to see what would happen.

Ok fine, I just want to call someone and ask for a Dr. Villa Diego. But still.

Scammers must have a harder time trying to trick people with these lottery scams, especially tricking the generation that grew up with the Internet. Do you remember getting those emails from the president of some far off country, peddling some story about how he needs your help to transfer's his abandoned country's funds into your account? Those were great! Checking up on scams on the Internet is too damn easy nowadays, that scammers have to go back to sending out good, ol' fashioned letters.

Well I say good for them, it'll teach them the grass roots, old school way of taking people's money. Have we become too lazy to even rob a bank or mug someone? Geez.

[UPDATE] Apparently my Dad got the exact same letter today. Sweet.

Habs post mortem: my two cents

First things first - the Islanders deserved to make it to the playoffs. The highly unlikely scenario of wins/losses from the Habs and Leafs didn't phase the Isles; they made a ballsy move to get Ryan Smyth at the trade deadline, and they made a remarkable entry into the playoffs.

I will always be a Habs fan, but it was yet another disappointing season. The Habs really had two separate seasons: one where they could go toe-to-toe with any team in the league, and had a chance to win every game. The 'other' season the Habs had was a complete embarrassment to themselves and Habs fans. They looked sickly, tired and worst of all, disinterested. "L'indiscipline coule le CH" ("Indiscipline sinks the Habs") was the most oft-used phrase during the season, where the Habs would shoot themselves in the foot game after game. That was probably the most frustrating part of the season for me.

There were glimmers of stellar play during the last 10-12 games of the season (check out Higgins's MONSTER goal on Saturday night) but again, penalty trouble put their first 81 games to waste.

I really hope Bob Gainey decides to clean house this Summer. I've defended Kovalev more than enough times, but he really disappointed me this season. He and Samsonov will have to start looking for new cities to call home, because they will be on the way out. I'd be happy if they can sign at least either Markov or Souray, because I doubt both would want to resign with the Habs.. I can't blame them. Souray will be offered a gazillion dollars this Summer by other teams, and he is right to take it. I also think Lapierre has taken over Begin's role; the former is younger and hungrier.

And then there's Koivu. I know he is a warrior, is a model of perservance and determination, and has done tons for charities and the city of Montreal, but the Habs won't go far with him as Captain. Maybe I'm just used to thinking of the Captain as a real grinder, or as a goal-scorer rather than a play-maker. But when the game is on the line, I rarely think to myself, "pass it to Koivu, he will win the game"... I usually think, "Koivu, pass it to someone who will score"... (I know a pass is just as important as a goal, but you know what I mean)

Fortunately, the few bright lights of this season came from the youth. I think Plekanec is developing into a huge asset for the team. He's fast, kills penalties, takes faceoffs and goes in the corners. I'm convinced Higgins can devastate with his shot and speed. Kostitsyn can also fly, and has a scoring touch. And of course, Halak was incredible (add Aebischer to the list of dead weight on the team).

With any luck, Bob Gainey will make major changes. All we have to do is sign Daniel Briere and Brad Richards, and we're set..... *single tear rolls down cheek*

GO HABS GO!
PS: a shout-out to alpha posse for the bitchin' Habs jersey

It's true - we do all look the same

I've heard the joke that all Asians look the same, so many times that it doesn't phase me any more. Especially living in Toronto. We're all over the place.

What is it - the dark hair? The eyes? The electronics? I would have liked to have been there, in early days of Asian immigration to America, when this joke probably started. Some guy probably sat down and dreamed up a fool-proof way of distinguishing himself from all the other Asians:

Asian 1: I need something unique.
Asian 2: Hmmm, like what?
Asian 1: What if I wore... glasses?
Asian 2: Yah, that's good!
Asian 1: Great!... hey, what are those?
Asian 2: Glasses.
Asian 1: Whoa... sorry, I thought I was looking in a mirror.
Asian 2: Who said that?

But as often as I've heard it, it's even funnier when people just happen to act that way, reinforcing the stereotype. I met this guy, Nigel, through my old roommate JV during two summer camping trips. Nigel is an interesting fellow, because for all the indistinguishable Asians in the world, he is a walking contradiction. For instance, hands up for those who might guess that Nigel is.... oh, black.

WRONG! Nigel is tall white guy, born in Cyprus, Greece. Booyah! That's right. I guess I can't blame him for smearing all Asian traits into a smooth, peanut-buttery texture, since he's such a rare breed. And a cool guy too.

I had more than a few conversations with Nigel during those trips, and you'd think that after two weekends, he'd at least partially recognise me. But after moving to Toronto, I can't count the number of times that I've recognised him, only to have him walk right by. I've even gone insofar as to casually smile and nod, with no response. We even sat in the same class of about 20 students for a whole semester without him realising!

The kinds of scenarios where we meet or could meet are becoming absurd. ak was looking through her mail, and I happened to see a piece of misdirected mail she received, with Nigel's name written on it. Apparently they live in the same building. On the same floor. Less than ten doors away. Should I confront him?

It could be that he just has bad memory. Either that or he thinks that ak and I are in fact Asian twins. Or triplets if he knew that ak lives with her brother.