An "I-need-a-break" post

Has anyone taken a look at the Sponsored links in Gmail? By signing up for Gmail, you give Google permission to scan your emails for keywords, and 'relevant' ads are displayed on the side depending on the words used in the conversation. These are often completely irrelevant to what you are discussing, but I bet you could weave a pretty good story together from them (this must be how Hollywood does it). Some sob story about two hard working parents saving up to pay for both a camera, and a miracle cure for their son's skin condition.

Anyone keen to guess what I was conversing about?

Top n reasons why Indian weddings are awesome

(where n = the number of reasons I can think of in the next k min (where k = 3))

1. Foooood: Breakfast, lunch and dinner served. Fantastic, even the stuff that I couldn't identify. The groom was a meat-eater so we had nine dishes of meat, including a turducken made by a friend!
2. Dancing: Indians love to dance. Love love love. There were about 250 people at the reception, and 240 of them were dancing. Younger, older, doesn't matter. And it's very inclusive and communal. You don't really dance with one person but with everyone.
3. Colour: I've never been to a more colourful wedding. The gowns at the ceremony and the saris at the reception were absolutely beautiful. Great for photos.
4. Formality and informality: At the beginning of the ceremony, the two sides of the family exchanged some ceremonial items. Uncles passed to uncles, aunts to aunts, etc. Within these formalities they did some really fun things, like trying to lift each other up for photos. It was funny when it didn't work.
5. Inclusiveness: Everyone was very inviting, courteous, answered questions, and provided thoughtful explanations.
   

Eating rights

Speaking of losing weight, I have to admit that I've been doing the same lately. I checked my weight yesterday, I am embarrassing light for my height (any guesses??). My dragon boat coach keeps warning me not to let the girls on the team paddle harder than I do... AWKWARD.

I think a big part of it has to do with my diet. I've been trying this new kind of food that I've only tried a couple times before... the name eludes me now. Hmmm, I think it ends with an 'E'....

HELLTH-EE food? Helthii? That could be it.

This new eating craze is good for two reasons: 1) More energy, less junk in my body... ya ya whatever. 2) Exercising the right to gorge on crap for a short period of time. Eating bad can feel so good in short bursts! This past weekend at the Montreal Dragon Boat festival, I had burgers, fries, and smoked meat, without a single leaf of lettuce in sight. YES!

Nigel spotted!

I was in the elevator with Nigel yesterday! With my sunglasses on I made it a point to stare at him knowingly... excellent.

Fruits of the Digital Pictobox's Labour

I've always wanted to get into amateur photography, so I recently took the plunge and bought a dSLR camera (dSLR is short for Mac-n-cheese-for-a-month expensive). My camera enthusiast friends were really great in helping me pick up one, and I've started posting some favourite photos on flickr:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/asoungyee1/

I'll add some photos from time to time. Feel free to check it out, or hit that RSS feed!

Weight loss is the new fake-nose-and-stache

I met up with an old roommate JK (Kooper) recently, whom I hadn't seen in over two years. Since the last time I saw him, I heard that he lost a considerable amount of weight.

I started to wonder how long it would take me to recognise him; I mean, how different could he possibly look? It's weight loss after all, not a boob job. But still, losing mass everywhere on your body can really change someone's body shape, especially after not having seen the guy for a while. Maybe I should be looking for a guy I don't recognise anymore??

Well, we finally met up, and he looked pretty different. I could have easily passed him in the street if I didn't know it was him. The fact that he was wearing sunglasses really threw me off too. As soon as he took them off (as per my explicit request) and started talking, then I finally accepted that it was him, and not some skinny impersonator with a bad boob job.

So maybe weight loss should be used as the latest spy tactic. Super model thin spies could be deployed anywhere and eveywhere, slithering around à la Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment, literally slipping through cracks in the pavement. Bond would be forced to eat a Big Mac at gun point, only to escape by squirting the 3000-calorie secret sauce in his captor's eyes and using his Coke to melt the titanium handcuffs.

By the way - any votes for Ronald McDonald as the sickest Bond villain ever?

Third is the new first place

Bronze medal - Division G!

We. Are. Canadian.

I was reminded today about how Canadian we Canadians can be.

I was walking near Yonge & Bloor St. in downtown Toronto (probably one of the busiest intersections in Canada) the other day and turned my head at the sound of gasping and shrieking tires. What is an accident? A hit and run? No... it was much worse.

A groundhog was caught in traffic.

Imagine a flock of curious onlookers, holding its collective breath as the groundhog darted from underneath one car to the next, as they stopped in order to avoid hitting it. Soon, that section of the street was completely backed up as people from the crowd were trying to somehow grab this thing. They were trying to work in teams. One guy found a big box. One guy was directing cars to slowly move up. Another one had taken off his casual shirt to use as a... hunting blanket of some sort.

It just goes to show how we can be so compassionate towards certain things, especially if they are 'cute' and fuzzy***. I see people swearing at each other on the road all the time downtown: drivers to drivers, bikers to drivers, drivers to bikers, etc. A friend of mine told me about this incident, where an ex-cop tried to grab a guy's bicycle and started to fight him for stopping at the yellow light at the intersection, instead of coasting through. Are we so jaded that we will fight each other, but risk our lives in traffic for a damn animal??

I was surprised how calm the traffic was during the groundhog ordeal. Drivers were waiting patiently while traffic was stopped as these 'heroes' were trying to save this animal. The crowd started to gather up quickly as their attempts to trap the groundhog proved unfruitful. I'm sure the thing was going to die of shock anyway. To be perfectly honest (and cruel), it probably would have been best if it had died quickly. But what happened? It ended up getting smoked by a car, but was just crippled. Ouch.

You are a martyr, my sweet rodent prince. You've accomplished more than most people will do in their entire lives, rallying complete strangers for a common good. Now someone get a hose.


*** Here's a transcript from a timeless Denis Leary skit, talking about how we only want to save the cute animals:

"Hey, I love the animals too. I love my doggy. He's so cute. My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. "What are you?" "I'm an otter." "And what do you do?" "I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands." "You're free to go." "And what are you?" "I'm a cow." "Get in the fucking truck, ok pal!" "But I'm an animal." "You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!" "I'm an animal, I have rights!" "Yeah, here's yer fucking cousin, get on the fucking truck, pal!" We kill the cows to make jackets out of them and then we kill each other for the jackets we made out of the cows."

Scammers have it tough

I received the absolute best possible news in the mail today. Apparently I, ME, MOI, won the Hispanic Lottery, a lottery that I never signed up for and never knew existed! Yes you suckers, I am now rich. All I need to do is send them my credit card and bank account info, and EUR892,000 will be deposited in my account. And I had better act fast, apparently I have until May 17th to claim my glorious prize.

I was both amused and impressed by this scam. Amused by some of things they put in the letter. Besides silly things like "keep this confidential" and "act fast!" there are also some genuinely funny moments. Apparently I have a representative, Dr. Villa Diego, who will care take of the transaction for me. DR. VILLA DIEGO! What a hilarious, Bond-villain-esque name; I bet these guys were laughing their asses off when they decided on the name. What could he possibly be a doctor of... Scrooge McDuckery? Monetary botany?

On the other hand, I was also impressed by how far they went to add validity to their scam. They included a stamp from Spain on the envelope (which of course, had no return address), and cited phone numbers in the letter. I'm somewhat curious to actually call them just to see what would happen.

Ok fine, I just want to call someone and ask for a Dr. Villa Diego. But still.

Scammers must have a harder time trying to trick people with these lottery scams, especially tricking the generation that grew up with the Internet. Do you remember getting those emails from the president of some far off country, peddling some story about how he needs your help to transfer's his abandoned country's funds into your account? Those were great! Checking up on scams on the Internet is too damn easy nowadays, that scammers have to go back to sending out good, ol' fashioned letters.

Well I say good for them, it'll teach them the grass roots, old school way of taking people's money. Have we become too lazy to even rob a bank or mug someone? Geez.

[UPDATE] Apparently my Dad got the exact same letter today. Sweet.

Habs post mortem: my two cents

First things first - the Islanders deserved to make it to the playoffs. The highly unlikely scenario of wins/losses from the Habs and Leafs didn't phase the Isles; they made a ballsy move to get Ryan Smyth at the trade deadline, and they made a remarkable entry into the playoffs.

I will always be a Habs fan, but it was yet another disappointing season. The Habs really had two separate seasons: one where they could go toe-to-toe with any team in the league, and had a chance to win every game. The 'other' season the Habs had was a complete embarrassment to themselves and Habs fans. They looked sickly, tired and worst of all, disinterested. "L'indiscipline coule le CH" ("Indiscipline sinks the Habs") was the most oft-used phrase during the season, where the Habs would shoot themselves in the foot game after game. That was probably the most frustrating part of the season for me.

There were glimmers of stellar play during the last 10-12 games of the season (check out Higgins's MONSTER goal on Saturday night) but again, penalty trouble put their first 81 games to waste.

I really hope Bob Gainey decides to clean house this Summer. I've defended Kovalev more than enough times, but he really disappointed me this season. He and Samsonov will have to start looking for new cities to call home, because they will be on the way out. I'd be happy if they can sign at least either Markov or Souray, because I doubt both would want to resign with the Habs.. I can't blame them. Souray will be offered a gazillion dollars this Summer by other teams, and he is right to take it. I also think Lapierre has taken over Begin's role; the former is younger and hungrier.

And then there's Koivu. I know he is a warrior, is a model of perservance and determination, and has done tons for charities and the city of Montreal, but the Habs won't go far with him as Captain. Maybe I'm just used to thinking of the Captain as a real grinder, or as a goal-scorer rather than a play-maker. But when the game is on the line, I rarely think to myself, "pass it to Koivu, he will win the game"... I usually think, "Koivu, pass it to someone who will score"... (I know a pass is just as important as a goal, but you know what I mean)

Fortunately, the few bright lights of this season came from the youth. I think Plekanec is developing into a huge asset for the team. He's fast, kills penalties, takes faceoffs and goes in the corners. I'm convinced Higgins can devastate with his shot and speed. Kostitsyn can also fly, and has a scoring touch. And of course, Halak was incredible (add Aebischer to the list of dead weight on the team).

With any luck, Bob Gainey will make major changes. All we have to do is sign Daniel Briere and Brad Richards, and we're set..... *single tear rolls down cheek*

GO HABS GO!
PS: a shout-out to alpha posse for the bitchin' Habs jersey

It's true - we do all look the same

I've heard the joke that all Asians look the same, so many times that it doesn't phase me any more. Especially living in Toronto. We're all over the place.

What is it - the dark hair? The eyes? The electronics? I would have liked to have been there, in early days of Asian immigration to America, when this joke probably started. Some guy probably sat down and dreamed up a fool-proof way of distinguishing himself from all the other Asians:

Asian 1: I need something unique.
Asian 2: Hmmm, like what?
Asian 1: What if I wore... glasses?
Asian 2: Yah, that's good!
Asian 1: Great!... hey, what are those?
Asian 2: Glasses.
Asian 1: Whoa... sorry, I thought I was looking in a mirror.
Asian 2: Who said that?

But as often as I've heard it, it's even funnier when people just happen to act that way, reinforcing the stereotype. I met this guy, Nigel, through my old roommate JV during two summer camping trips. Nigel is an interesting fellow, because for all the indistinguishable Asians in the world, he is a walking contradiction. For instance, hands up for those who might guess that Nigel is.... oh, black.

WRONG! Nigel is tall white guy, born in Cyprus, Greece. Booyah! That's right. I guess I can't blame him for smearing all Asian traits into a smooth, peanut-buttery texture, since he's such a rare breed. And a cool guy too.

I had more than a few conversations with Nigel during those trips, and you'd think that after two weekends, he'd at least partially recognise me. But after moving to Toronto, I can't count the number of times that I've recognised him, only to have him walk right by. I've even gone insofar as to casually smile and nod, with no response. We even sat in the same class of about 20 students for a whole semester without him realising!

The kinds of scenarios where we meet or could meet are becoming absurd. ak was looking through her mail, and I happened to see a piece of misdirected mail she received, with Nigel's name written on it. Apparently they live in the same building. On the same floor. Less than ten doors away. Should I confront him?

It could be that he just has bad memory. Either that or he thinks that ak and I are in fact Asian twins. Or triplets if he knew that ak lives with her brother.

Slow starter

Am I the only one who usually spends the first half hour of the work day doing absolutely no work at all? I seem to always come into the lab, and check my email, the news, etc. It doesn't seem to matter how busy I am either.

It's probably a bad habit carried over from my Coop work terms where I would spend half the DAY not doing work. Ahhh, those were the days. I remember during my first work term, we had 3pm breaks (after our one hour lunch) to play frisbee outside. We were freely engaging in a hippie sport during work hours. Even my boss knew where to find me at that time. Amazing.

Think about all the precious minutes people waste browsing or chatting about some silly nonsense. Looking at my gmail now (which is full screened open on my second monitor.. haha) I have emails about the Toronto football club, Habs, Wii, dragon boating, kamping (with a k!), and an "India party". Just for starters. Now think about adding up those minutes spent toiling away, and subtracting the amount from the end of the work day. I would have left the lab by now, guaranteed.

Oh well, I guess people are naturally fidgety, and need a constant stream of tasks to keep the mind fresh and sharp. Or maybe I'm just a lazy lazy individual. Either way, I'm writing this post when I should be working. And YOU're probably reading it when you should be working. Ha!

Eco-evangelism

With all this talk of global warming and how we are all heartless bastards not doing enough to save the Earth, I have to admit that I am starting to question a lot of the everyday things that could be contributing to this problem. That post I put up about Swiffers and other disposable household products started to hit home when a couple people mentioned why there were bad for the environment. Since then, I've come to realize that hey, maybe I am being careless about it, and I should try to use reusable products.

After that Swiffer incident, I started to hesitate in doing practically anything. "Am I polluting? What cute baby seal am I indirectly killing by wiping my ass with this bleached toilet paper? How many icebergs am I melting from flushing this toilet? Should I ever flush again??"

I'm happy to report that I did indeed flush that toilet. My point is that it is easy to make yourself so paranoid about what you are doing to the environment that you can convince yourself to practically stop living. It seems that every time I go to throw something out, I have to triple guess myself, wondering either about how I can reuse or recycle it, or how I could have been more responsible earlier and not bought it in the first place. It drives me insane.

However, what is even easier to do than worry about your own waste, is to complain about the waste of others (which is really the reason for this post). Sure, we can all do more for the environment, and pointing it out can be a good way to generate awareness, but pointing the finger and screaming bloody murder can often 1) oversimplify the issue, 2) shame the 'culprit' rather than educate them and 3) ignore the zillion other things the person might be doing to help the environment.

This is what I call eco-evangelism (an apt term, in my opinion). The majority of environmentalists complain because they care, but a few do it simply because it is easy to complain, without presenting any reasonable alternative. Let's just all complain that others aren't doing enough for the environment, without some practical and viable ways of reducing waste, to the point where it's forbidden to move or breathe.

TRUE STORY: I once bought a fruit smoothie from a Vegetarian restaurant in Toronto, and was asked whether it was to go or to drink in the restaurant. I ordered it to go, but my friends and I decided to stay and order some food. The guy at the counter saw that we stayed and made a comment saying that I should have told him that it wasn't to go, so I wouldn't use a plastic cup.
I said sorry, and he replied, and I quote, "It's ok, I just care about the Earth."

I won't spell out completely what I think, but what a douchebag.

OK, this is an extreme example. But there is a middle ground, people. A middle ground where we can all be concerned about the environment, but where we can be prescriptive about what to do, rather than just point the finger. I was looking through digg.com (awesome site I just discovered) and found this list of 50, practical things you can do to reduce the effects of global warming. The last 10 get a bit hippie, but some of them are rather simple and effective.

http://globalwarming-facts.info/50-tips.html

So there you are. Now if you'll excuse me, I had a big dinner, and have seals to kill and icebergs to melt. Some things cannot be saved.

Man's Greatest Invention

When was the last time you came across a household product that really changed the way you do things? Something so simple, but that has really changed the way you think? Forget about the iPod and the Internet/blogging/Youtube revolution; I'm talking about the Swiffer.

Anyone who has used a Swiffer knows what I'm talking about. The amount of dirt you pick up on one of those Swiffer clothes is incredibly... gross (don't worry, no photos this time). The dust and dirt just piles up on it, clinging to it safely. No insidious 'line' of dust from that broom. To think that before the Swiffer, I was wallowing in this amount of filth. It really makes me want to hunt down that dirt right now, in fact. Right...

Huh? Oh, yah, Swiffer friend me good. Gotta go.

More TA adventures

My friend WP was a TA for Digital Communications 2. This is reputedly (and truthfully) one of the most nefarious courses in all of Electrical Engineering. Although it would take an entire blog to write about the absurdity that goes on in that course, this IM conversation focuses on how much worse the quality of students is getting, even after our (me and WP's) dismal year there. The pictures shown below are screenshots of histograms of pdfs and cdfs submitted during his TAship. Hand-written, no ruler, no labels, no tick marks. A masterpiece, really.

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

ok, shoot

WP says:

haha, is it good?

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

did you send it?

WP writes:

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

nooooooooooooooooooooooo way

WP says:

yes way

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

this is the best thing ever

WP says:

I was so f***ing pissed when I saw that

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

that's the histogram that they sent you

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

????

WP says:

it was an assignment

Wilson says:

Q1

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

HAHAHAHAHA

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

amazing!

WP says:

it was snapped on the first page of his assignment

WP says:

drawn with pencil

tone t(pwn) - valrhona is a foul temptress says:

i'm going to put this on my blog

WP says:

oh, and right next to it is the distribution function

WP writes:

WP says:

can't believe I gave him 2/5

Toner's Hook-Me-Up Contest

Upon arriving in my new apartment, I discovered that the former tenant had installed four hooks on the ceiling for some reason... probably to divide the room for some Pagan ritual or shadow puppet show.

Instead of hanging something mundane like a plant, I need your help to figure out what to hang up. So send me your suggestions, and I will reward the most creative, zany and insane entry with... some fantabulous prize!** These are not load-bearing hooks, so no hammocks allowed (which would have been uber cool).

Looking forward to hearing your ideas!

** prize to be determined, and not exceeding the street value of two beers